Waiting for the bus - the bus that never comes

Waiting at the bus stop

patiently waiting

for the bus that never comes.

I think I see it in the distance

if I squint my eyes

and focus really hard

or if I close my eyes

and listen

closely

I hear a faint rumbling

I feel the energy of the bus

even though I can’t quite see it

or hear it

I believe the bus will come

I see it in my mind’s eye

How wonderful it will be

the flowers that adorn it

music trilling sweetly

the breeze carried with its movement

the love within it

I believe in the bus

It has to come -

It has to

even if I can’t see, hear or feel it

right?

If I wait patiently

and stay hopeful

It will surely come to me

It rains

and I wait

it’s dark

and I wait

through fog

and misty mornings

I wait.

Anger bubbles up.

You better get here bus!

I invested in you

I can’t walk away

Please come, dear bus. I need you to survive

Take me where I am going next

I’m too weak to travel

without you

Too scared to

navigate

solo.

I stamp my feet

Shout to the heavens

tears

hiccups

I rest on the earth

I weep

Tantrums

Longing

Bartering

Do not make it come.

I sit in the quiet

on the ground

on the hard pavement.

Depleted.

Empty.

a frog and I

gaze into each other’s eyes

Silent and still

My cat greets me

I look up

into his healing soulful eyes

Wiping my tears

I see yellow across the street

what is that?

a bicycle leaning against a tree

a shiny yellow bike with my name painted on the side

I look closer

a wicker basket

my cat joins my stride

to the bike

I place fresh meadow flowers in its basket

My cat jumps in and purrs, relaxing with lavender, goldenseal and mint

The sun peeks through clouds

shining a light

on the license plate

that reads

freedom

and I pedal

into a beautiful future

and never look back.