vision quest - night 2 - Earth-Love Embodied

The ironwood tree and I - both had a trim - trimming the “dead ends” - the pieces no longer needed for our next iteration in this lifetime.

Thursday - Gorgous day! Big puffy clouds with blue sky, light wind, intermittment sun. Felt magical. My energy shifted on day 2 - I felt earthy. Earth-love embodied. Felt good to brush my teeth and my hair with focused intention. Not rushing - no where to get to. No wordle to play or tea to make. No pets to feed.

I went skinny dipping in the sea of grass - a spontaneous dip. I finished chanting 7 aquarian mantras and saw my yoga mat in the bright sunlight - how inviting. I had been chilly with several layers on and it was warmer. I laid down on my mat - heavenly. Spontaneously I removed my clothes, opening myself to the heavens. The wind bloew, rustling the tall grass. The ironwood dropped dried needles on me and I asked for healing of any residual energetic scars from my sexual abuse. If felt magical. I’ve been skinny dipping but couldn’t recall lying, relaxed, naked in the sun’s caress.

It started raining around noon. I had a bunch of things drying on the grass so I hustled them into the tent and into a garbage bag. The tent leaks! One side stays dry and one side gets a little puddle. My dry towel was wet again.

Hungry.

I sat by the tent and saw a grasshopper. Joy! Grasshoppers were a big part of the last vision quest. I scooped it up - so bright and green - and placed it on my arm. It sat for about five minutes and then hop - onto its next thing.

The ironwood tree and I are connected. I explored this in my memoir. A few weeks ago, I decided that I would cut off my braid in sacred ceremony on my vision quest. It would be my physical representation of letting go. Each link in the braid representing a relationship, thought-process or issue that held me back from realizing and owning my power.

I noticed that many of the ironwood tree’s needles were dry. I had the scissors in my bag so I decided to give her a trim. I asked her permission as I snipped the dead portion of the needles - the dead ends. Interesting word “dead end” - no longer serving a purpose, no where to go and depleting energy for the rest of the tree. I also noticed that if you pulled one needle at a time, it broke off in the perfect spot.

I was planning on cutting off my braid on the 4th night , my final night. Today was only day 2 - but the moment was there. The scissors were in my hand. The tree and I were connected. Her dead ends were my dead ends and mine hers.

I had one braid on my right side. I got an elastic band and wrapped it at the upper portion of my braid, so that when I cut it, the braid would be in tact. I reached up and declared everything that I was lestting go as I birthed the new Janet - the Janet that owns her power, trusts her instincts and sets healthy boundaries. The Janet that if not treated well, does something about it. - doesn’t think it’s something to endure. I wept as I cut the braid - letting the past go - a sacred act. A powerful act of renewal.

I loved my braid. We had been through a lot together. It was part of my identity. It was in my logo. I thought of my hair as antenna and had a bit of concern that I would lose some of my sensing abilities. But it would grow back. I cried for the pieces let go, with forgiveness for all. I wove the braid through the bark and admired it. Now my oldest hair on my head was more recent - wiser. I learned a lot of lessons and earned wisdom. One side is longer than the other but I could fix that later.

Owl flew by at dusk.

I was up a lot of the night. It rained off and on - I started sleeping outside. I really wanted to wish on a star. I missed sleeping with the stars. I did get to wish for peace but had to hustle into the tent for the rest of the night. I woke up with a start - I didn’t know where I was for a moment and thought I was trapped in a box on a truck or something. I didn’t know how to get out. Pretty quickly I realized I was in my tent but still felt trapped. The zipper is sometimes hard to unzip - it was stuck and there are two layers - the inside screen and outside tent cover. I felt claustrophobic. Once I realized all was okay - I was able to rest. Because of the rain, I stayed in the tent but when there was a lull, I opened up the door and moved my pillow right to the entrance so I could see the night sky. Then when the rain starts again, I seal things up and move to the dryer side of the tent.

Critters so Far - Birds, butterflies and a grasshopper.

Weather - Intermittent sun and light breeze. Rain on and off at night.

Kriya - Nabhi Kriya for navel center. I know this kriya by heart. Felt great to have a rigorous practice. Icing on the cake.

Mantra - Same - added a few more but I forget now!