Day 2 - Reflection on first night under the ironwood tree

Taken in the morning - right before dawn, when I reached the cabin. Don’t worry - didn’t have my phone up by the ironwood tree :)

I had my first night on the earth. No yoga mat this year - sleeping bag, grass, pillow and little fleece blanket. I was tired - still catching up with the time change - five hours earlier than the east coast. I fell asleep. I awoke from raindrops and scurried into my tent. It’s a sad little tent because its poles are too short so it’s slumped. This is another story - not for today! But it’s okay. I left it here in Hawaii and bought a new one for other trips. I awoke lots of times. The stars were out. I opened up the tent flap and looked outside. I gazed at the sweeping branch of the ironwood tree and the night sky. As I gazed - relaxed and content - a gray owl swooped through my field of vision, close to the ground in a silent flight. Happy to see the owl - who frequently visited during the vision quest two years ago.

I’d like to say that I felt at peace but did not. The wind made for many sounds and I had my ears open and listening. I didn’t feel peaceful just yet. I felt vulnerable in the open space, alone in my sleeping bag. I dozed on and off until it was light enough to work my way back to the cabin. I got scared a few times, hearing rustling. I let the pigs know that I was there - “I’m here pigs!” I heard three gun shots. When I got out of the tent and stood up, I saw a man standing with his dog at his side. “Hello!” It was the branches of the ironwood tree. It felt like spirit hunters. Dreams were little fragments of this and that - no animals visitors yet. As I go to sleep I say aloud that I welcome any dream visitors, messages and life synchronicities, nudges and chance meetings.

I worked my way through the grass in the semi darkness - as if in a black and white photograph - made it back to the cabin without too many challenges. (Yes I have some scrapes on my ankles.) I was supposed to have my cold shower and start my sadhana - but with the time change - my daughter, Frances and I chatted. We hadn’t talked in a while and I was more than happy to oblige. :) I made oatmeal with banana and papaya. No coffee - no tea - not for the next 12 days and will stick with decaf. And then made my way to the mat for a short kriya.

I volunteered at the Kohala Food hub from 10:30 to 12:00, packing CSA boxes. I felt present as I sorted the gifts from the planet - beautiful fruits and vegetables.

At the end of the day, ready for a switch from Miso soup, I put some black beans in a pot of water to soak overnight. I headed up to the ironwood tree around 5:30. Sunset is around 6:30. I get there before the sun goes down. I don’t leave for the cabin until I see the dawn breaking - so I’m up there just about half the day! Almost twelve hours. Interesting. I do not take my phone because I have a habit of looking at my phone when I wake up during the night. While pre dawn is the best for kundalini yoga, I don’t feel comfortable navigating the way back in the dark. Maybe I will with time. It’s also very difficult to tell what time it is.

Kriya - Icing on the cake - also referred to as “I can’t. I am. I did. Lessons from Uncomfortable Positions. (link to blog post.)

Mantra - Morning Call, Wah Yantee, Muhl Mantra and Ganpati Mantra.

Meal time - Oatmeal with banana and papaya, lychee fruit, star fruit, orange, Same lunch - Miso soup with tofu, noodles and vegetables - afternoon banana.

Reading - Thich Nhat Hanh’s “You Are Here.” - “I am breathing in. I am breathing out.” “I see you fear. I am here for you.” “I see you sunset.” This book brings us back to basics with a focus on the breath and being in the present. It’s the perfect read for me. Basic. Foundational tips on less thinking, less worry, less rumination or planning what’s next. It reminds us to hold the hard emotions close to us and love them like we would a child. I have read this book before and knew its lessons and am so glad I am re reading it - to help me get back to the present and to love my self the very most - to be my very best friend - all parts of me.

Podcast - Living Myth Podcast with Michael Meade “Fear is the Way Through it.” Michael Meade is one of my teachers - he teaches with sharing folktales and myths from around the world. He talks about finding your path by doing the thing that you are scared of doing. He doesn’t suggest that we don’t have fear.